She Almost Won

by Brian Armentrout (aka Merry's Husband and Bella's "Father")

Since making the drive North in late February, I’ve been back in Birmingham for a record five days this week. Let me tell you, when the man of the house leaves, everything falls apart. Though, make no mistake, if you know our household, you know who’s really in charge. Certainly not me. It’s Merry…or, is it our white princess?

She almost won. No, not a race. You see, getting Bella to take a walk is like pulling teeth. It’s always been that way, but this past weekend was especially bad. For the past three years, we’ve taken Bella and Sophie on daily walks through the neighborhood loop, which is about a mile and a half. No big deal, really. Bella’s always resisted when we get half way up the first major hill. But, this week was different. I couldn’t even drag her lazy a** off our property. And this was just the beginning.

Seven times. That’s how many times I nearly pulled my shoulder out of socket, dragging Bella and her 30 or so extra pounds she needs to shed, up hills, down hills, and across several intersections. She fought me so hard, foam was gushing from her chops. In fact, had she just walked (or even run) like a normal golden retriever, she’d have been just fine.
Like every other walk, despite some extra sore muscles from pulling, tugging and yanking, I won. As some of you may have heard, we’re moving to the mid-Atlantic region, probably landing in Annapolis, MD, which happens to be a very active, walking community of humans and canines. And Bella better get it together.

I love that dog almost as much as I love Merry and my family, which is why I am so worried about her well being. She’s still a young girl who’s got a long ways to go before hitting a healthy range. In fact, during her weekly weigh-in today…we discovered she actually gained ½ pound. What? I confess, I gave her a small bite of red fish this week, but that certainly isn’t to blame. I’m convinced the veterinarians are wrong and she needs serious, medical help. They all, so nonchalantly assume and verbalize, we need to cut her diet and exercise her more. We’ve followed this protocol for the past six months to no avail. Humor me. Do we need a new vet? Or do we need the dog whisperer? Our white princess rules. She likes to eat, but so do I. What’s next? Suggestions? Anyone?