New Move, New Blog

There is no longer a blog dedicated to the laziest golden retriever's struggle with her slow metabolism. I've come to terms with her weight, and am no longer forcing her on the scale once a week. Life's too short (especially for an overweight dog) to worry about jiggly bits.

I'm very fortunate to have a wonderful group of friends and family who actually care about what's going on in my life. Partly, because I've moved across the country, and partly because I'm loved for which I'm grateful. So here's the latest...

Most of you know, my husband, Brian and I moved from Birmingham to New London, NH at the beginning of July. The 2 day trip included 5 animals, 3 parents, 1 friend, 2 cars, and 2 moving trucks. The trek was memorable to say the least. We drove from Birmingham to West Virginia the first day, and all 5 vehicles pulled in at different times. Both my father and I are extremely impatient, and therefore always in a hurry which explains whey we pulled up to the hotel first. We had to sneak 2 of the 3 cats in the hotel because we only paid for one pet, and because we're cheap. The last car arrived about 11:30 that night, and we ended the day sitting in the Holiday Inn parking lot in West Virginia with cheap beer and my very good wine (thanks to my dad who was asleep in his room, and not at all happy when he woke up the next day to find his stash of Sonoma Cutrer gone. We all awoke to find one of the moving vans graffitied. Our friend, Park, who we also like to call MacGyver, was able to remove the spray painted design.

During all of this, I ran to the nearest gas station to fill-up. I put the pump on automatic, which I always do, and ran inside to grab a Redbull. I was about to pay for the much needed caffeine when a woman started screaming and pointing outside. I turned to see gas gushing out of the pump which was attached to my car. While I went to find a car wash, Brian came to the station to get a refund on the gas I paid for, but clearly wouldn't be using since it now covered the pavement. He later told me he thought I was just being dramatic when I called, but realized I wasn't when he pulled up to the station to find warning cones and an entire cleaning crew moping up my mess. This all happened before 7:30 am.

We made it to New London that night after only a few more incidents (Brian left my credit card at a shady gas station in Pennsylvania), we were tired, hungry, but were greeted by my fabulous neighbors and friends. It felt great to be back.

I love it here. Our house is wonderful, and the 9 acres even better. We sit on our deck every night enjoying the view, and relishing the quiet. We both miss our friends and family in Birmingham, but are truly happy here. New London is a small, New England town. There a grocery store, pharmacy, post office, hair salon, a few good restaurants and a handful of cute boutiques and stores. The closest mall is about an hour away. This makes Brian very happy. It truly is simple living, and I couldn't be happier (not going to lie, wish the mall was a little closer).

There is one thing that has dampened our life. Our cat, Roxy, disappeared on August 12th. We suspect something got her since we live amongst an array of wildlife. I cried for 3 days straight, but am doing better. Brian dealt with it a little differently. He woke up one morning and put on his hunting clothes, got his gun, and announced he was going to find the bear that got Roxy. He came home an hour later with no bear, but maybe a little bit of peace. Roxy was family to us, and we miss her very much.

The other animals are doing great. Bella's still Bella, but is enjoying the outdoors more. She plays with our neighbor's lithe Golden, Sammy. Bella doesn't seem bothered that Sammy runs circles (literally) around her, but that's why we love her.

Our neighborhood is the same as when we left here 3 years ago. It's like family. What we have here is unique. We all gather at the deck built in the middle of our street for cocktails and conversation. I go to Jon and Fran's every morning for breakfast. Jon makes me scrambled eggs, and the eggs comes from our other neighbor's chickens which roam around the neighborhood. Like I said, life is perfect. We all recently were in our town's annual parade- the theme was "Fitness is Fun" which explains why we're all decked out in sports gear. Our neighbors are like our family, and we're thankful for them.

I miss everyone so much. Our old neighbors, old friends, family and my accounts I called on for 2 years which are now my friends. I'll continue to keep you updated on my life, and please do the same for me!

She Almost Won

by Brian Armentrout (aka Merry's Husband and Bella's "Father")

Since making the drive North in late February, I’ve been back in Birmingham for a record five days this week. Let me tell you, when the man of the house leaves, everything falls apart. Though, make no mistake, if you know our household, you know who’s really in charge. Certainly not me. It’s Merry…or, is it our white princess?

She almost won. No, not a race. You see, getting Bella to take a walk is like pulling teeth. It’s always been that way, but this past weekend was especially bad. For the past three years, we’ve taken Bella and Sophie on daily walks through the neighborhood loop, which is about a mile and a half. No big deal, really. Bella’s always resisted when we get half way up the first major hill. But, this week was different. I couldn’t even drag her lazy a** off our property. And this was just the beginning.

Seven times. That’s how many times I nearly pulled my shoulder out of socket, dragging Bella and her 30 or so extra pounds she needs to shed, up hills, down hills, and across several intersections. She fought me so hard, foam was gushing from her chops. In fact, had she just walked (or even run) like a normal golden retriever, she’d have been just fine.
Like every other walk, despite some extra sore muscles from pulling, tugging and yanking, I won. As some of you may have heard, we’re moving to the mid-Atlantic region, probably landing in Annapolis, MD, which happens to be a very active, walking community of humans and canines. And Bella better get it together.

I love that dog almost as much as I love Merry and my family, which is why I am so worried about her well being. She’s still a young girl who’s got a long ways to go before hitting a healthy range. In fact, during her weekly weigh-in today…we discovered she actually gained ½ pound. What? I confess, I gave her a small bite of red fish this week, but that certainly isn’t to blame. I’m convinced the veterinarians are wrong and she needs serious, medical help. They all, so nonchalantly assume and verbalize, we need to cut her diet and exercise her more. We’ve followed this protocol for the past six months to no avail. Humor me. Do we need a new vet? Or do we need the dog whisperer? Our white princess rules. She likes to eat, but so do I. What’s next? Suggestions? Anyone?

Weigh-In 6: Old weight 81 lbs. New weight...

80 lbs! She lost 1 pound! I should be overly excited, but I’ll be honest, I’m frustrated. Did you watch Kate Gosselin on Dancing with the Stars? She was terrible- really, really bad. It actually hurt to watch. The commentators kept on reminding the audience that she’s out of her element. She’s not an actress, singer or entertainer- she’s just a woman with a bunch of kids. Kate will never be a dancer. Even if she practiced everyday for the next ten years, she’ll never be an Edyta. She’s just not a dancer. It doesn’t make her a bad person, just not a dancer. The fact that she exploits her children on television is what makes Kate Gosselin a bad person (just saying).

I imagine Bella would resemble Kate if she was on a reality show for agility dogs. You would just cringe watching her try to jump over things or run through tunnels. It would be ugly. Thankfully, we’re not in a reality show…but life. And, I’m realistic. These next 10 pounds won’t come off easily, trust me. She lost 2 pounds in 2 months…even Oprah could do better. But I’m starting to see the bigger picture.

Bella will never be an agility dog. She’ll never go for a run with me. I don’t see her diving in the waves to retrieve a ball (if you recall earlier post about her bobbing around in the lake). You’ll never see Belles at the top of a mountain, unless there’s a chair lift. But that’s okay. She is who she is, but if you know her, you love her. So that’s my dilemma.

Should I put my focus and energy in getting Bella to lose weight? Or should I try for something different? Like having Bella be certified to be a Therapy Dog. Could you picture a better dog with children at a hospital? She’s not an agility dog, but I think Bella was born to be a therapy dog. She’s calm, patient and very gentle. She could pass the test with flying colors…except for one small issue…she can’t walk loose leashed. She can’t walk on a leash at all. Seriously, if you drive on Lake Cyrus Blvd. around 8:00am, you’ll see me, literally pulling Bella up the hill. Some days I win, other days, she wins. She won today. Before you judge my ability as a dog owner, imagine tugging 80 pounds of dead weight by a rope…not easy.

So here’s where I need your help. I’ve spent a lot of money on blood tests and expensive diet dog foods, so I can’t really afford to hire a private trainer to help me with this problem. If you know of anyone who is affordable, or if you have any suggestions, please let me know. Brian will videotape a demonstration of Bella walking on a leash this weekend, so I’ll have some hard evidence for you to show you my dilemma. Until then, take a look at the video I posted…pure Bella. I was trying to get her to fetch the Frisbee, and you'll see her little sister, Sophie, did the job for her

Old Weight- 83 lbs, New weight...

81 lbs!!!!

She lost 2 lbs!!!! I can't take all the credit. I had to be in LA for work, so Brian took care of the dogs this weekend...looks like he might be The Enforcer.

I wish I could write more, but I'm beat. Started a new job last week, and haven't had much down time to develop creative thoughts for the blog...I'll do better!!!

Weigh-In 4: Previous weight- 82.6 Lbs. New weight...

83 lbs...crap.

Josh at South Shades Crest Animal Clinic was disappointed too. As he lifted her on the scale with a grunt, he stared dejectedly at the number and sadly recorded it in her file. But as we left he give her a pat on the head of encouragement.

I'm not sure what went wrong this week, but I can tell you my mom bought Bella special "Easter" treats, and I couldn't let the decorated dog cookies just go to waste. We all need a little treat now and then. The problem is her activity level. To lose weight you have to decrease your calories plus increase your activity level. Bella needs to work on the last part. As you can see from the picture she loves napping...even in the middle of playing with her toys.

Stop and Smell the Roses

My life has been full of change. My husband and I are moving to a different part of the country.. did I mention he's already there? I'm living alone and trying to sell a house while starting a new job. I'm overwhelmed. We've all been there, in fact we're all there right now, in one way or another.

I took Bella for a walk today. She hates walks. I always thought it was because she detests exercise, but as she sniffed around, and I yanked her away from the seventh flower bed that interrupted our afternoon stroll, I realized maybe she hates going for walks because she can't actually enjoy them.

I decided to start this blog when my life took an unexpected turn, and I suddenly had a large amount of free time to spare. Like I do with so many things in life, I set a goal (reminder- laziest golden to lose 12 lbs) , and my focus became the endpoint, but do I actually take the time to enjoy the process of achieving the goal? How often do we do go through the motions without taking a moment to take in everything, whether it's the good or bad? My life isn't going as expected, but I still need to take advantage of life, and stop trying to control everything I can't, but take advantge of the things I can- like an afternoon stroll.

So today, I decided to stop yanking on Bella's leash. I let her stop at every mailbox, fire hydrant and poodle and just get a good whiff. Seems silly I know, but maybe it's the silly things, or simple things in life that we tend to overlook.

Weigh-in 3: Previous weght- 83.1 lbs, New weight...

...82.6 lbs!!! She lost .5 lbs.

This might not seem like a lot, but last night we had dinner at my parent's which means Bella consumed many table scraps. I tried to warn my enabling mother about the seriousness of Bella's weight-loss challenge.

She said I was being ridiculous- and "it's just a little bite."

A little bite of cheese, steak, potato, green beans and cake, yes, cake.

I forewarned my mother if she kept of feeding Bella "treats", I would videotape it and put her on my blog. She's going to kill me...

Weigh In 2: Previous weight 84 lbs, New weight...

Previous weight: 84 lbs

NEW WEIGHT.... 83.1 lbs!

She lost .9 lbs- not much, but at this point I'll take anything. Josh (pictured) will be working with us from here on out- he works at a vet closer to my home which makes it more convenient for our "weigh ins".

.9 lbs downs, 13.1 lbs to go...

84 pound dog- not easy to weigh at home

Every Monday is weigh-in day for Belles. She's had such an active weekend at the lake (see previous blog), and Brian and I took her for a long hike on Saturday - we can't wait to see the results on Monday. But, our excitement got the best of us, so we cheated a little and tried to weigh her last night. Operative word here is "try".

Weighing a golden retriever on a $20 scale from Bed, Bath and Beyond isn't the easiest task. After many failed attempts of Brian trying to weigh her (the scale kept on reading "error") we tried a different tactic.

Putting Bella directly on the scale didn't work either. So I'll be heading to the vet tomorrow to have her weighed professionally by the young vet, who bet his life, Bella had a thyroid disorder. Wonder if he' put any wagers on her again?

On a personal note, some people might read this blog and deduce Bella's on the edge of an eating disorder, and we're the cruel owners who led her towards that destructive path.

Please rest assured Bella is treated like a queen. Any comments made about her weight are done so under our breath and out of her ear-shot. The laziest golden retriever lives a life of luxury, trust me.

Prepping for Weigh In 2: Living it up at the Lake

We're heading to my sister's lake house this weekend. Bella would be content to lounge on the deck enjoying the view. Not so much an option when you put into play my sister's 9 month old, rambunctious lab, Oakley. Did you ever watch the movie Marley and Me? Oakley gives Marley a run for his money, and I'm not exaggerating.

My niece, Madeline, drove to the lake with me, and she glanced down at Bella, napping in her lap and commented, "why does Bella always seem so tired? She looks old because she looks tired all the time. How old is she?" Again, shock and awe from Madeline when she hears Bella's only three.

Day 1 at the lake. Goal is to get Bella to swim. My niece helps guide her into the water, and lo and behold Bella ventures out to fetch the ball. We keep throwing it out farther and farther until Bella is officially swimming. Unfortunately, Bella can't quite keep up with Oakley. We throw a ball for Oakley, and then one for Bella, but somehow Oakley is able to get to his ball, bring it back to the dock and then swims back out for Bella's ball and happily deposits it next to the first while poor Bella is left bobbing around in the water looking exhausted. To keep Bella's self-esteem intact we come up with a game plan.

I'll throw the ball to Bella, and Madeline will grab onto Oakley's collar to keep him from retrieving it. We all watch Oakley frantically trying to escape the clutches of Madeline as Bella slowly swims towards the ball, and brings it back to the dock with an air of achievement. It's funny how Bella doesn't seem aware of her now dejected canine competition in shackles, unable to participate. Sad, I know, but watching both dogs in the water is comparable to watching a barge race a speed boat.

The good news is Bella had to have burned 1000 calories today. Between swimming and tryingto escape Oakley, the dog who truly has endless energy, she collapsed into her bed and didn't stir until she smelled bacon cooking in the kitchen (no, I didn't give her any- I am actuallyserious about this weight-loss challenge). If she doesn't drop any weight by Monday, I might have to go in search of ephedrine.

Weigh In 1: Previous weight- 82 lbs

As with any weight loss plan, consulting a professional healthcare is advised. So off to the vet we go...


I found out it takes $64 to evaluate a dog's overall health, and $96 to test a dog's thyroid. The young vet assitant told me he'd bet his life Bella had a thyroid disorder. He looked down at my obese, lifeless retriever, and assured me we could solve this quickly and affordably. Hmm....


I spent $160 to be told my golden retriever is just fat...just plain fat (and not ph-at). No thyroid disorder, no major health flags- just fat. He put her on Canine RD twice a day and NO TREATS!


I employed my father-in-law (pictured above) who was in town for a visit to help me do the first official weigh in after her first week on the diet. Very technical, highly scientific method: he weighed himself on my $20 scale from Bed, Bath and Beyond, and then quite easily (again, see picture above) picked up Bella and stepped ont the scale again.


She gained 2 lbs. From what I recall, the vet said she would lose 2 lbs the first week. I'm flabbergasted. I haven't fed her one darn table scrap, no treats and this is the look I get from her at meal time..

I'm not going to lose hope. We now have 14 lbs to lose, and I actually have a few followers on this blog to keep me accountable. Great.



Instead of drowning our sorrows in chocolate we played basketball. If you want to get Bella's heartrate going just pick up a basketball. She goes crazy. Following a hearty Italian meal, I came home motivated (thanks to the sudden spike in my blood sugar from my dinner of refined white sugar in the form of pasta) to help my golden lose 12 (wait now it's 14) lbs. My dad and dad-in-law helped me have Bella huffing and puffing tonight at 9:30 pm CST by a quick game of pick-up. For you followers out there...this workout was for you...

Meet Bella

The picture says it all. You might be surprised to find out this isn't a 12 year-old, arthitric golden retriever with hip dysplesia (note the hind leg hanging off the sofa), but shockingly this is a 3 year-old pup in her prime. Let me start from the beginning...



My husband (who should be referred to as Brian from here on out) and I decided after 2 blissful years of marriage it was time to add to our family, yet weren't quite confident in our parenting skills, so we figured we could practice on a four-legged friend first. I've never had a dog, and could already see myself jogging along the beach with leash in hand. I did extensive research on what type of canine could join me on my morning runs. FYI (in no particular order) dalmations, weinarimers, labs and golden retrievers fit the bill. We were wavering between a golden and a lab, but it was Oprah who pushed us over the edge by dedicating an entire show to her adorable English cream golden retrievers. I was sold. We found a breeder, and Brian made the drive to Canada (we couldn't afford one in the U.S.- similar to prescription drugs) and smuggled in our beautiful new puppy who we aptly named Bella.



The first couple of days I was puzzled by her lack of enthusiasm for playing since I heard how rambunctious puppies tend to be. She just sat around, and didn't even seem to notice the dozens of toys we had carefully picked out weeks before her arrival. I figured her attitude could be attributed to the stress of her new U.S. citizenship, coupled with the fact her new mother looked nothing like her previous maternal figure. It didn't help our three cats didn't give her the warmest welcome. Weeks later, I remember my neighbor commenting on Bella's unusually calm behavior one sunny afternoon as my pup sat on the porch quietly instead of running around with Susan's kids who were begging to her to come play. At that moment, the image of Bella jogging beside me on a beautiful spring day was tossed out the window. About a month later, huffing and puffing as I carried my now 20 lb pup for the last half of our walk, I wondered if Red Bull would hurt a dog. My vet suggested against it.

So, hopefully you now have a pretty clear picture of Bella in your head, and if you don't please take a glance at the first picture posted. Due to Bella's lack of enthusiasm for walks, playing, fetch and exercise as a whole, she is now a whopping 82 lbs. The vet says she has to lose 12 lbs or she will most likely develop hip dysplesia along with a decreased life span. I have taken on the challenge. If you know me then you know when I take on a new project I put everything I have in it. I might not always finish the project, but for the first few months my full attention is put into play, and astonishing things can happen from that point. I am now dedicating myself to the future well-being of my beloved Bella. If I get her to lose 12 lbs it would be an enormous feat. Stay tuned.